


Headhunters

by monicawoe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Community: sammessiah, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-05-02
Updated: 2011-11-12
Packaged: 2017-10-18 21:24:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monicawoe/pseuds/monicawoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In response to this awesome prompt by rokhal:</p><p>Now that Azazel's plot and the Vessel thing have blown over, Sam has no purpose in the grand scheme of things. From a human perspective, he's a free man. From a grand mysterious being from the beyond's perspective, he's unclaimed ordinance. Everything wants a piece of him. Some beings send him job offers. Some send him offers he can't refuse. A few send him offers too good to turn down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Job Offer #1

Dear Mr. Winchester,

Have you ever considered an exciting career in world-rebuilding? Global and multi-dimensional domination? All this and more await you!

We offer a competitive salary, health insurance, transportation benefits and will cover any and all relocation costs!

We here at 7GWC (Seven Gods Who Decree) would love to have you aboard!

After an initial trial period of only half a century, we may even consider you for partnership!

  
Sincerely,

Anu - God of Heaven, Lord of Constellations, and King of Gods, Spirits and Demons.

  
PS

Please enjoy this gift basket, containing 50 bottles of sacred water, bull horns and a golden tripod (which you may use as a lampstand if you so choose.)


	2. Job Offer #2

LW'NAFH ILOIG SHAGG:

K'YARNAK N'GHFT GRAH'N.  
ATHG CHTENFF!  
EBUMNA ILYAA 'BTHNK!

SHTUNGGLI PHLEGETH

  
(a rough translation follows):

  
a Transmission from the Realm of Dreams:

Share your darkness, little lost larva.  
Sign here to join our Brotherhood!  
The Pit expects your body!

  
Notify the Realm of Information with your Decision


	3. Job Offer #3

Samuel,

 

I'm sure you've grown weary of the world you call home. You and your brother have saved it time and time again, and yet have never received the praise you so richly deserve. I'd like to invite you both to my kingdom. I could use your assistance with a certain beast that has been plaguing my people. You will be richly rewarded.

 

Please consider my offer, and enjoy this gift of handmade Turkish Delight,

  
Her Imperial Majesty Jadis, Queen of Narnia


	4. Job Offer #4

Sam,

 

We could use a guy like you.

 

What can we offer? What **can't** we offer!

Join us and you'll have everything  - omnipotence, omniscience and even more importantly - you'll have me as a friend!

I'll show you the ropes, and give you a personal tour of every universe, every time, every dimension you've ever wanted to see (and I'll even take you to the Continuum itself!)

 

Don't be like Riker,

Q

 

 


	5. Job Offer #5

Sam Winchester,

 

Normally, I like to just drop in and introduce myself in person. In your case, however, I fear that would endanger me. Your brother and you tend to stab first and ask questions later - much like someone else I know...she's very fond of hacking away at things too.

 

I'd like you to consider a career in vengeance. It's been your primary directive on more than one occasion now, and watching you work - quite frankly- gave me the shivers.

 

I'll provide you with immortality, power, and a condo in Arashmahaar (and if you know anything about the market right now, you'll understand what a generous offer that is!)

 

When you're ready to talk, hold the amulet I've included and give us a chant.

 

D'Hoffryn


	6. Job Offer(?) #6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this was scrawled on the back of a business card that just appeared in Sam's pocket one day)

Sam,

 

We need to talk. Give me a call.

 

Harry Dresden

 

 


	7. Job Offer #7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this job offer was received in the form of a psychic transmission

_The avalanche came and yet the pebble remains._

 _  
_

_Realize we are not alone._

 _  
_

_We have always been here._

 _  
_

_You have always been here._

 _  
_

_I will teach you, about you._

 

 


	8. Job Offer #8

To Sam Winchester-

 

Though you know not who I am, I hope you will be sympathetic to our plight.

My King was always a just man, a reasonable man, but I fear he is no longer. His mind has been corrupted by the Red Lady! She who births shadows and sees death in flame.

I've been told you have power over shadows and are yourself a seer. I have nothing to offer you but the eternal gratitude of all of Westeros which would cry out for help if it still could.

Find me in the woods of Cape Wrath.

 

Davos Seaworth

Lord of the Rainwood, Admiral of the Narrow Sea and Hand of the King


	9. Job Offer (?) # 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (attached to this job offer is an advertisement for a night club "The Raven" )

Samuel,

You are not one of them. Their rules do not apply to you. You keep going through the motions, acting like nothing has changed -- like you're still human, but you're not, are you? You're more like me than you'd care to admit.

I know you seek guidance. You seek redemption. You remind me very much of someone who was very dear to me once. He never let go of his guilt, and it brought him to his end.

When you're ready, I'll be here.

Lucien LaCroix


End file.
